308 – What was accomplished
「Sensei! Please hang in there, sensei!」
The first to move, was Yamada-kun . He immediately rushed over to where sensei had collapsed from her chair, and then checked her condition . Sensei was shedding tears with her eyes open wide, and while breathing irregularly and raggedly her body was also spasming irregularly . She kept trying to breathe desperately, but since she’s suffering despite that maybe the problem is that she’s hyperventilating? Sensei had collapsed on the ground and Yamada-kun lifted up the top half of her body in his arms, and then performed Treatment Magic . However, as the Treatment Magic in this world could do nothing more than restore wounded tissue, it could not cure sicknesses . While I don’t know whether it’s appropriate to call hyperventilating a sickness, I do know that Treatment Magic can’t cure it .
「Move . 」
As Yamada-kun could do nothing except to try casting Treatment Magic, I pushed him aside and looked into sensei’s eyes . Then, I activated my Evil Eyes . I make them perform the opposite to their normal effect . My Evil Eyes have the effect of causing fear in those that see them . Meaning that they affect the mind of the opponent . I’ve not done it before, but if it’s possible to cause fear, then conversely it should be theoretically possible to grant serenity as well .
As I peered into sensei’s eyes with my Evil Eyes, her body performed one big spasm . However, after that the large spasms stopped . That being said, her breathing was still disarrayed and the small spasms hadn’t abated .
「Sensei, please calm down and take a deep breath . 」
So as to not provoke sensei’s mind as much as possible, I spoke to her slowly and calmly . Sensei followed my words and breathed in .
「Like that, without rushing, slowly, breathe out please . 」
Making it easy to understand, as if instructing someone, yet still calmly, I carefully formed the words .
「Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out . 」
By having her slowly take deep breaths like this, little by little sensei’s condition improved . During that time I grasped sensei’s hand tightly . Although her breathing has become stable, the tears spilling down her face have not stopped . Also, perhaps because she was crying intensely, the occasional hiccup-like spasms continue . Her face is covered with tears and snot . I mop that up with the sleeve of my clothes . But, as soon as I mop it up they start spilling over again .
For a while, sensei continued to cry . As sensei is an elf her body matures slowly, so compared to the other reincarnators she seems very young in appearance . Simply going by her appearance, it doesn’t feel out of place to see her crying so badly like this . However, seeing her like this should be shocking for the reincarnators . Unlike the other reincarnators, sensei was the only adult . Contrary to her appearance, she has been alive for the longest amongst the reincarnators when combining her previous life and this life . For such an adult to show that she has gone to pieces so blatantly, is surely something they could have never imagined . Even I hadn’t imagined it .
「It is alright . It is alright now . 」
While running my hand over sensei’s small back, I gently caressed her .
「You have not made a mistake . 」
I gently persuaded her .
「To risk your own life and fight for the sake of your students surely cannot be a mistake . 」
I could tell that at my words Kudou-san had averted her face feeling awkward . I might be looking at sensei, but since I habitually use my Fluoroscopy ability to understand everything around me, I could tell that much even though I hadn’t focused on her . I could tell that based on her attitude until now that Kudou-san had harboured suspicions about sensei . However, Kudou-san hadn’t been aware of just how desperate sensei had actually been, and just how hard she had struggled to save the students . And also, just how serious she was given how she had collapsed like this when she found out that Potimas had been gathering the reincarnators in order to use them . I had also misjudged her about the latter . I had never even considered that sensei could actually collapse . I had been convinced that sensei of all people could deal with knowing the truth .
「It is certainly the case that Potimas was unscrupulous . But sensei, you had honestly done your best for everyone’s sake, right? There is absolutely no mistake in that . Besides, everyone has been able to survive and meet together like this, right?」
I gently spoke to sensei who hadn’t stopped sobbing . In practice, while it might be true that sensei was used by Potimas, it is still the case that many students have been saved by sensei . Unlike Earth, this world is a harsh place . I have no idea how many times I almost died, and I’m sure that vampire girl and oni-kun had the same experience . So despite all that, we were simply lucky . It wouldn’t have been strange at all for us to have died . The other reincarnators would surely also have faced living each day with death always at their side, unless they had been born to some privileged class like Yamada-kun and the like . If by some chance they hadn’t been sheltered by sensei, there might have been only half the number of survivors here instead . And so, it’s precisely because she had assembled the reincarnators here in the elf village that it became possible to safely defeat Potimas . It turned out alright in the end, so sensei doesn’t have to worry about all that .
「It’s… not… everyone!」
Sensei shouts that while crying .
「I… couldn’t… save… them! I… couldn’t… save… them… all!」
Her way of shouting made me think that this is probably what’s called “wailing” . While crying, her broken voice never became loud . Yet despite that, why does her voice resound so much?
Certainly, there are some who are not here . Sakurazaki Issei . Kogure Naofumi . Hayashi Kouta . And finally, Natsume Kengo . Apart from Hasebe-san who is sleeping, those are the reincarnators who are unable to be here . The reincarnators that we can never meet again .
It seems that sensei feels responsible for their deaths . There’s nothing that I can say about that though . However, I do think that to take responsibility for that, is basically barking up the wrong tree . Their lives are their own . And so, their deaths are also their own . I don’t think that sensei needs to take the blame for their deaths . Perhaps sensei thinks that she could have saved them, but there are things that humans can do and things that they cannot do . To assume that they could all have been saved is an arrogant notion . Unless you are all-knowing and all-powerful, you would never be able to save them all . Even I couldn’t have done it .
Afterwards, sensei continued to sob like a child . “Why”, “I couldn’t save them”, “just what for” – sensei murmured such things as if talking in a delirium . In the end, I don’t know how much time passed, but sensei finally stopped crying . However, her eyes were somehow hollow and felt lifeless .
「Wakaba-san . 」
Kushitani-san spoke to me, after having silently watched over the course of events .
「It seems that sensei is tired, so I’ll put her to bed . We shouldn’t burden you any further at least . I’ll watch her, so continue the discussion . 」
That proposal, was something I both wanted to hear and didn’t want to hear . Right now, it would be bad to leave sensei alone . I would prefer to watch her myself, but I’m not sure if it would be for the best for me to leave here to nurse sensei . Kudou-san and the others have all sorts of thoughts with regards to sensei I’m sure, so I cannot leave her to someone with such mixed emotions . On that point, since Kushitani-san came to the elf village recently, she should be able to watch over sensei without getting caught up in her emotions . She’s also one of the few reincarnators who are able to fight, so there is nobody better to entrust this to than her . Vampire girl is out of the question for a start, and oni-kun is basically a man so I’m sure he’d be unsuited for nursing sensei .
「Can you take care of her?」
「Leave it to me . 」
Kushitani-san carries sensei in her arms . After gazing at Tagawa-kun, Kushitani-san went up the stairs like that . Kushitani-san is dependable, so I’m sure it’ll be fine to leave things to her . Even in the worst case that sensei tries to kill herself, Kushitani-san should be able to stop her .
After sensei and Kushitani-san left the scene, the room was filled with an uneasy atmosphere . From having seen sensei’s state just now, they surely understand just how serious sensei was about wanting to shelter the reincarnators . Starting with Kudou-san, the reincarnators who had been sheltered, had condemned sensei instead . Having seen sensei become like that, perhaps they have a guilty conscience .