Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta? Volume 4 Chapter 2 part1
And so begins chapter two. This chapter has the longest part of the volume in it that I’m not really sure I can follow it up right after the chapter before it. I’m still trying to pick at it a day at a time but work is taking up most of the time during weekdays that I find myself unable to do so.
Anyhow, related to actual translation bits, I’m still having a bit of trouble deciding for the other names of Batz’s guild members are they also appear again later on, but since I can’t remember much about them besides Korou’s origin of his name, I’ll probably just go with pronunciations and correct them later.
That aside, here’s the first part to chapter two.
Hardcore Players of Swords and Sorcery
TL note: Reference to Logres of Swords and Sorcery.
“And on today’s weather, we’re having meteor storms— We’re having meteor storms everyone—”
“As if that kind of weather exists!”
“Don’t think some measly meteor storm is going to stop me!”
No, you should stop though! If you charge into that you’ll die!
I was evading meteors falling from the sky while running for it. Of course, Schwein was too.
We’re aiming to get the least amount damage as we try to get into the closest range possible.
“I can revive you even if you die okay—”
“I would like to actually not die if I can help it!”
My wife’s cheering doesn’t feel like one at all.
I’d like something more gentle and loving. I just wish you’d spoil me a bit more.
And because of everything that’s happened, the Modern Electronic Communications Game Club is in the middle of training in order to prepare for this week’s Castle Siege.
We, the two vanguards, were assigned a clearly impossible task of slipping through a barrage of multiple AOEs.
Cooperating in this endeavor were random players who were just killing time in the arena.
After they were asked to fire off AOE spells with the intent to kill us, they gladly agreed.
These bastards were so happy you could practically see them tearing up in joy.
“You can do it—”
Behind us, who were trying to do the best we could, an incredibly carefree voice could be heard cheering us on.
I kind of hate how I’m slowly getting used to it, this sickeningly sweet voice that is.
“…Akiyama-san, just when did you get here? Actually, what are you doing?”
“Sette-tan has poopped out!”
She said that with a ‘Kyapo!’
“Uwa, that’s old!”
TL note: This is a reference to a thread where Pokotan (someone doing live-play threads of FF11 back in 2004, akin to a streamer in text form) put up a post of how their linkshell is like. Taru A (Tarutaru is a race in the game) reacts upon Pokotan logging and says ‘あ、ぽこたんインしたお！’. Since Taru A is usually depicted with poop on his head, I just decided to go with this one.
I could only feel disdain in place of nostalgia!
However, Akiyama-san seems to be surprised at my reaction as she said,
“Eh? I just learned about it yesterday though.”
“Y, yesterday huh?”
I, is that so? Ah no, it was not my intention to judge you for that or anything.
It’s really hard to comment on the stuff that beginner otaku say after all.
“…Oh Nanako, you were there? What about our class exhibit?”
She’s playing so seriously that I’m still iffy if she actually saw her or not. And in response to the complex look on Segawa’s face, Akiyama-san smiled from ear to ear as she said,
“It was such a pain that I decided to go ditch it and come here instead!”
That’s my class you’re talking about though.
Come to think of it, Akiyama-san is in my group too though.
Is the work on it moving along? Are you sure we’re fine?
“I’m something like a club member here anyway so it’s fine if I help out right?”
“But you’re not. You’re not a member here! Actually, don’t even think of joining the club!”
“I, I think it’s better if you don’t do it you know?”
As Ako timidly spoke out, Akiyama-san came out and hugged her.
“Eeeh? Tamaki-san, are you still mad about that? I’m soooooooorryyyyyyyyyy!”
“Aa, auauau, n, no I’m not mad. I’m not mad about anything at all!”
“Alright that’s enough. Stop bullying our little girl here.”
“I’m not bullying her!”
It may look like you’re just unusually interested about this, but to Ako, that amounts to the same thing as bullying.
See, now she’s hiding behind me like a small pet, cowering in fear.
It’s she just so cute? This is my wife you know?
“To add, our club is not recruiting any members. As unfortunate as that may be.”
“Are you even allowed to not let members join?”
Anything is possible for this club.
That aside, I’ve gotten pretty good at avoiding these AOEs. I’m good enough that I can still do it with Ako clinging on to me like this.
Knowing the timing for when the skills will fire off, which areas will cause you to take damage, and when the skill stops dealing damage are all important things to take note of.
There are also cases where you can just power through some skills since they deal pretty much negligible damage.
“But I guess there’s no point if I can’t avoid those AOEs huh. I wonder if I should change my gear?”
“You’re going to enchant some MDEF on them? I still have an extra Ripple of Karasawa if you need it.”
“Ah, that might be nice too…”
Magic defense is important after all. Hmm…
“I was thinking about what I’d do after we’ve pushed into the fort so I was deciding whether or not to buy gear with active effects that give an AOE debuff.”
“So even if we do break through there’s still that issue remaining huh…”
“If you bring me with you to heal I’ll probably die right?”
I’m sure it will be tough on Ako as well. Maybe it’s better to just believe in us and let her go back and wait there.
“When I see you all discussing things like that, it really feels like you’re just a normal club huh?”
For what it’s worth, we are a normal club.
“So then, Master. Is there any meaning to making us train like this?”
“But of course.”
Master proudly nodded.
“I have a plan. Just leave it all to me.”
Is this really alright I wonder…
On the way home on that same day…
I’m walking back from school again today with Ako.
Even though we’re walking home together like this, Ako doesn’t seem to be clinging on to me. I guess it’s because it’s summer after all.
Once it gets cooler, maybe we could hold hands together like this— where we would have our arms linked together and hold hands while placing them in either of our pockets.
We walked slowly while I was daydreaming about things like that.
“Rusian, our club is becoming too hardcore that’s it’s no fun anymore.”
In contrast to what I was thinking, Ako seems to be focusing on something else. She looked somewhat displeased as she said that.
“You say it’s hardcore but aren’t you just buffing us from the back?”
“Everyone getting mad at me when their buff expires is already hardcore you know.”
A healer who keeps letting buffs expire will also get treated like crap in a PUG too you know?!
“Practicing is such a chore. Can’t we just level up and brute force our way to winning?”
“Your level aside, leveling for me and Master is going to take days for just a level that I’m doubtful if that would even be efficient.”
Ultimately, the truth is that we should really be leveling, but I’m not sure that mindset also applies for the short-term.
“Is the Cassel Seege still an unbeatable boss fight?”
“Hmm, unbeatable boss fights may be unbeatable but I don’t think we’re going to be forced to lose this one even if we win.”
“So it’s the type of quest that still advances if you take time power leveling on the side and forcing yourself to win right! That’s huge progress!”
“Is it really now?”
“Compared to those events where ‘You do your best to the fight and win, and then in the end you just find that what you did didn’t have any effect at all!’, this is much better right?”
Ah, I understand now. There’s stuff like that after all huh.
Even though you beat the boss up badly in the fight, once it’s over, it looks like he didn’t even break a sweat even though your characters are gasping for breath. I really don’t that crap at all.
“Well in any case, this is so much better than my life that’s full of unbeatable events right?”
“Stop treating your life as if you’re just throwing the game!”
You have to properly face each battle one at a time.
“I wonder if I can just live off of playing games like this? Like those pro-gamers.”
“Don’t tell me you’re thinking you could be one of those?”
I think that’s impossible even if you do get reincarnated.
“Uuu, I know what you mean. But see, wasn’t there a time where someone made a living off merching items in the game’s auction house?”
“But wasn’t that instantly abolished?! Stop clinging on the idea of the good old days!”
That kind of business can’t sustain itself!
What’s important after all is a steady income!
“Ah, speaking of business.”
Ako clapped her hands together.
“Listen to this Rusian. It’s become a bit of a problem!”
Uwa, that phrase she just said definitely belongs in my list of top 5 things that I don’t want to hear coming from Ako.
Do I really have to listen to it?
“Just hearing that introduction really makes me not want to listen anymore.”
Since we’re already in the middle of a troublesome quest, I’m begging you to please be more thoughtful about adding on to it.
“So you say. But you’re my ally aren’t you Rusian?”
“I guess it can’t be help since we’re allies. Let me hear it.”
“I knew you would say that!”
We’re a married couple after all, so this is just inevitable.
And anyway, just by looking at Ako’s face, who wholeheartedly believed from the start that I would listen to her worries, I just can’t say something like ‘I don’t want to listen to you’.
“Actually you know, it’s about our class’ presentation…”
“Aah, the exhibit on the Delicious Things in Maegasaki?”
“Yup. About that see, it got changed a bit.”
They changed it up even though it sounded like a pretty great plan?
It was quite an unusual idea that I even though of going to see their exhibit.
“‘Since we’re introducing them to all these delicious food anyway, why don’t we also prepare the actual thing so they can eat it in the classroom?’ is how it turned out.”
“Isn’t that much better? I want to go eat there!”
That’s a nice revision.
It won’t just be a picture of a rice cake but one you can actually eat.
They’re really thinking of their users. I wish the management teams of net games would also learn good management principles such as this.
“But since letting people eat for free would put us in the red, everyone figured that we should at least charge them.”
“Well, I guess that can’t be helped.”
“And then after that, since we’re charging people anyway, others pitched in ideas to include a variety of food so we can have a bit of profit.”
Somehow, this is turning into something that I really don’t want management teams of net games to learn from.
“And in order to get profit, we’ll need to get a lot of customers to drop by, so they planned on getting the girls to promote the exhibit. And that’s how it went.”
They’re off track… They’re way too derailed! This management has lost it!
“It’s completely turned into a cafe… What happened to the class exhibit?”
“Yup. There was talk that this was already completely a cafe. And in order for a cafe to sell, ‘it definitely has to be a maid cafe right!’, is what someone said. So our class’ theme now turned into ‘A maid cafe where you can eat delicious things found in Maegasaki’.”
“What a shitty management!”
This management is no good! Hurry up and find another one!
“But you know, I’m amazed they let the first years do something like a refreshment stand.”
“It seems that they already talked to a supplier in the neighborhood beforehand so no one could stop it anymore.”
So they couldn’t do anything about it because people from outside the school got involved huh?
That’s a pretty cunning scheme they got going there just so they can go along with their plan.
“There were also suggestions to name the store ‘Real High Schoolers Limited Edition Maid Cafe’ or ‘Real JK Specialty Maid Cafe’ but it got shot down.”
“The moment that word about that suggestion gets out, your class is going to be in quite the trouble right?”
Those names can’t help but smell of something criminal.
If you put out something like that in the cultural festival, I’m sure it would turn into a huge controversy that would probably get on the papers.
“That’s right! It’s really troublesome!”
‘The problem lies there!’, Ako eagerly said.
“This was after they decided on it being a maid cafe. The moment when someone mentioned that there should be a head maid, someone said ‘Maid? If it’s about maids then it has to be Tamaki-san right? There can’t be anyone else fit for it besides her no? Then we’ll be counting on you to be the head maid okay?’— For some reason, everyone in the class agreed to it and I was made the head maid without any protest! Isn’t this all strange?!”
“…Those people in your class are right about that.”
“Rusian?! Arr yuu beetrayeeeng mee?!”
“I didn’t, I didn’t say that.”
I’m not betraying you.
But, if I was in that situation, I would think that Ako would fit the bill too.
“I guess that to the average person, they would have the idea that a female otaku would be somewhat knowledgeable about maids after all.”
“That’s troublesome for me! I’m a housewife, not a maid! There’s a fine line between the two and I plan on making that clear!”
“There’s the problem about you declaring that you’re a housewife. Heck, that part’s troublesome for me too. And the fact that you’re probably thinking in your head that we’re already a family is what troubles me the most!”
“It’s my dream to be a full-time housewife you know.”
“You shouldn’t aim to become a wife who doesn’t know how to work.”
“That’s no good Rusian! You shouldn’t fall for the honeyed words of those feminist scum! Women should focus on raising their families!”
“Why am I the one getting scolded here?”
Normally, it should be the other way around right?
“Let’s put that aside for now. What should I do? I’ve become the head maid you know! It’s that right? I have to become elegant right?”
“Time really stops for everything around you when you get like this huh.”
I mean that in the sense that it just kills the mood for everyone else.
“Isn’t it fine? You’re just head maid in name right? To people outside your class, they would be stumped if they find out that they’re not acting your supervision as the head maid right?”
If an open otaku like Ako acts as their representative, then it should be fine. Having a normal student act as the head maid would cause a lot of trouble for them after all.
“It’s not just on paper! I also have jobs to do! Like searching for where we can get maid outfits and making shifts for everyone so they would know who does what when, and even making the serving manuals!”
“Well, that sounds really troublesome.”
It feels like they just pushed all of this unto her.
Though I think it’s good that you can take control of your free time by deciding which time you’d like to work at.
“And since I was only quietly listening the whole time, nothing about any of the things we needed to do were decided. I might have been a bit careless this time…”
“So they’ve already went ahead and turned it into a matter they can just ignore ahead of time huh…”
If they don’t clear up things like this, it’s people like us who end up suffering.
“But don’t you think the most problematic part with the maid outfits would be settled if you just ask Master? That person brought cosplay outfits to the club before after all.”
Like that thing Nekohime-san put on. But I didn’t expect a maid outfit of all things… No, I mustn’t remember.
“I guess so. I’ll ask her that next time then. Now all that’s left is the trial of asking what the other girls’ plans are, and the hellish torture of making of the serving manual, which I could also really use one by the way.”
“Y, yeah… Good luck. I’ll be rooting for you.”
Ako dejectedly replied as she pulled on the hem of my shirt.
While I slowed my walking pace due to the sensation of something pulling at me, I began to imagine a bit of Ako in her maid outfit.
Yeah, I feel sorry for Ako but the things I’m looking forward in connection to the festival has increased by one.