LEVEL 4: Chapters of the Chosen and Choosers
(Funya-Funyan is Japanese onomatopoeia for flabby, limp, lacking energy . We might change it at some point, but probably won’t . -hika)
Yume was funya-funyaing . What did that even mean anyhow? Yume had no idea either . All she knew was that she was funya-funya and didn’t know how to describe it any other way .
Because she was funya-funya, getting up and out of bed was way too much effort . So she remained sprawled on her reserve force lodge bunk . Once in a while she would flip over to one side or the other, but since she was funya-funya, even that required a tremendous amount of effort .
She also had to pee . She’d been holding it a long time now and she reckoned that it’d be best to get up and go do the necessary . Sooner or later she’d have to get up, no mistake about it, but because she was funya-funya she didn’t feel like it now .
“Yume?” Shihoru called her name .
As much as Yume wanted to reply, she was funya-funya so it was too much effort to get her vocal chords to respond .
At last, Yume managed with, “Hmm?”
“You’re not hungry?” Shihoru asked .
Yume thought about it . She supposed she wasn’t not hungry; if she were to eat something then she would have eaten it, so by all accounts she could eat . But she didn’t really feel like eating . Whatever, she felt fine enough without eating so that must’ve meant she didn’t have to eat .
“…Hmm . ”
“Yume, it’s not good to starve yourself…”
“Hmm . ”
“Are you listening to me?”
This won’t do, the funya-funya Yume thought to herself . She should reply properly . No matter how much she reckoned she should’ve, though, she couldn’t . She wasn’t trying to give Shihoru a hard time, it was just total lack of energy and motivation to do anything . She wasn’t just physically funya-funya, but mentally too .
“You need to get a grip on yourself,” Shihoru suddenly exclaimed in a half-whisper .
Because she had said it so quickly and in such a hushed voice, Yume couldn’t tell if Shihoru meant for her to hear it . She knew though, that Shihoru was annoyed . Maybe even mad . It was the first time Shihoru said anything to her in that tone . Yume couldn’t recall Shihoru ever having spoken to her like that .
Yume flopped over to regard Shihoru, who was sitting on the bed next to hers . She was hanging her head, gaze towards the floor .
“Sorry…” Yume apologized . Shihoru quickly shook her head without looking up and said, “I’m sorry too . ”
“You don’t have anythin’ to apologize for,” Yume said .
“You didn’t do anythin’ wrong . ”
“No, I did…” Shihoru insisted .
“You didn’t . ”
“I think I did . ”
“Oh…” Yume finally capitulated .
“What… are we going to do from now on?” Shihoru whispered .
Yume tried thinking about it, but her brain refused to work . The wheels and cogs inside stayed at a dead stop . She tried thinking anyways, uncharacteristically desperate to find adequate words .
“Um, Shihoru?” Yume finally said .
“Yume’s really bad at these kinda things . Yume hates hurtin’ and feelin’ sad… everyone does, right?”
“Yes, I suppose…”
“But you know, for example, if there was a big rainstorm…”
Yume continued, “And it was rainin’ super hard, you wouldn’t go outside for a walk, right? You’d stay inside and hope . You’d hope for it to stop rainin’ . ”
“I guess I would, yes . ”
“But who could really make it stop? It’s like that… There’s nothin’ no one could’ve done about it . ”
“Nothing at all…?” Shihoru asked, doubtful .
“Err, meanin’ I don’t think it’s anyone’s bad that things turned out like this . It’s just the way things turned out . It all feels like some big ol’ lie . Yume never thought somethin’ like this could happen . ”
“I… me too . ”
“Why didn’t Yume ever expect it?” Yume asked herself . “It’s not like these things don’t happen . Yume was supposed to have known that it might’ve, at least…”
Because it wasn’t the first time . No, it had happened once before but Yume had never dreamed that it would happen again . The death of a friend . That Mogzo would die .
“Yume is such an idiot,” said Yume, flipping over to lie on her stomach . Her entire body felt heavy, funya-funya . “Yume was too stupid . This happened because Yume is a big, stupid idiot . ”
This time, Shihoru didn’t reply .
Yume suddenly felt very sleepy, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep . She flopped over onto her back . Her body was heavier and more funya-funya than ever before . She had no desire to move . And for the time being, she remained unmoving, unable to move .