Volume 5 – The Adventures The Young Dragonborn
Chapter #218 – Put A Fork In It (2) : Found Out
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Sun shone upon to asleep semi-naked duo, they were Jon and Wulfur. Not sure what was happening or where they are, Jon opened his eyes to see a few figures around him.
He sobered up immediately and slapped Wulfur beside him.
“Ouch! Hey, watch it… Oh no!”
Wulfer saw the figures around them and turned pale.
Three girls, one cat and one large bear are what caused Jon and Wulfur to realize that they were in trouble they didn’t foresee.
“Wakey wakey, sleepy heads.” Jull said with a delighted smile.
“What’s up, guys?” Jon smiled but he suddenly held his head.
The hangover kicked hard once he tried to move and his vision blurred. Wulfur was no better, as soon as he stood up, he turned behind a small rock and started throwing up.
“You had a big party last night, boys. Care to explain?” Bjorna asked.
“His idea.” Jon pointed at Wulfur right away.
“Hey!” Wulfur seemed upset.
“It was nice knowing you.” Jon said with a cheeky smile.
“I advise you to worry about yourself more, I will be the only one nagging him but you have three upset ladies to deal with.” Bjorna said to Jon.
Jon looked at Alina, Jull and Nefertiti who were smiling at him with bad intentions in mind. His face turned pale too.
“Okay, girls. We had our fun too, let’s not embarrass them more.” Alina said as she gave up on messing around with Jon.
“Oh, come on! We can extort them for many things if we wanted too.” Bjorna was turned down.
“Yes, Alina. You are too soft on them.” Jull too.
“What are you talking about?” Jon asked.
The girls laughed as they remembered what happened last night till this morning.
“Let me ask you something first, what is the last thing both of you remember?” Jull asked.
Jon and Wulfur looked at each other.
“It was when Jon stopped the Ash Storm with his voice, now that I think of it, it sounded really heroic.” Wulfur said.
“Oh, I remember that after it we went to a pineapple-like rock and it found a hole under it.” Jon said.
“A what now?”
“A fruit from Valenwood, still, what exactly happened?”
“Fine, I’ll tell you. We too were sitting at the Tavern and Alina noticed that you guys started drinking a lot, that’s when we figured out you were up to no good. We decided to stay sober and keep an eye on what you guys will do.” Jull said.
“After that, Jon started to hide a lot of liquor bottles in his ring and you two went out staggering, we thought the night would be over but all the fun was actually just getting started.” Alina said.
“Wait wait wait wait! You all were there? From the beginning.” Wulfur and Jon asked.
The girls looked at each other and laughed so hard.
“It was so much fun that I will write a song about it one day.” Bjorna said.
“Oh, man. We are ruined.” Wulfur held his head with his hands.
“Keep talking what happened afterward?”
“As you two staggered your way out of Raven Rock, you two kept walking towards the beach while singing weird songs. Got to admit though, the songs were fun.” Bjorna said.
“Oh, thank you.”
“You two walked to a large Netch and Wulfur started killing it with a fork. Crazy at sounds, it got killed and you got an eye out of it, it was then when the Ash Storm hit and Alina was planning to come and save your asses but then Jon Shouted a very marvelous Shout that stopped the storm like a charm.” Jull said.
“After the storm, you too started drinking more then delved deeper to the north, we didn’t know what you are after and Alina wanted to take you home but you arrived at that weird looking rock.”
“The pineapple-like rock.”
“Yes, that one, Jon was sure that there was an entrance to the inside of the rock even though there was none. Once you two started looking around, you indeed found an entrance and crawled through it. We wanted to send a Familiar after you to see what is going on but screams started echoing from inside the rock, a few seconds later, you two came out with wide smiles on your faces and blood all over your hands.” Bjorna said.
“What did we do?” Jon became horrified.
“I don’t know, you said some like ‘I finally killed you, Spongebob. Winnie the Pooh, you are next’, and started laughing like a maniac.” Alina said.
Jon slapped his forehead.
“Oh, shit! Who did I kill?”
The girls looked at each other and smiled.
“The highest Bounty Bandit Lord in Solstheim. Here, we collected the proof and the weapon.” Bjorna brought a bloody sack with what it seemed to be a head inside it, there was also a Greatsword lying beside it.
“Oh, thank goodness!”
Jon was happy he didn’t commit a crime.
“Wulfur also killed a lot the bandits inside with that Fork. It was truly a wonder who someone many bandits died fork wounds inside that rock.”
“Good job, bro.” Jon said.
“What happened after that?” He asked.
“You two went out and started drinking and crying, Jon started complaining about his past life over and over again. You then tried to cheer yourselves up and started singing again.”
“What did we sing?”
“Something that goes like ‘Valhalla ooh la la’.” Jull said.
“Oh, not that song, it is a masterpiece, why did I sing it before finishing it?” Jon seemed down.
“Sing what you wrote?”
“Well it’s a song that I butchered but it goes like…
♫ Valhalla ooh la la ♫
♫ All of my heart is in Valhalla, ooh la la ♫
♫ I took my axe and went to battle la la la ♫”
“Okay, stop it, my head hurts.” Wulfur said.
“Damn, such a fine butchered song! What happened next?”
“You two found another Bull Netch, and things got really weird. You were originally climbing a rock then jumped on top of the Netch, Wulf tried to copy you but he fell, you held his leg before he hit the ground and the Netch started running wild. Got to say though, you two were amazing, such a large-bodied guy like Wulfur and you managed to keep him hanged in one hand. Wulfur too managed to do some Hanging Set Ups training and each time he would stab the Netch’s organs with the Fork. It was truly an admirable show of drunkenness and brotherhood.”
“Hanging Set Ups? No wonder my body is killing me.” Wulfur said.
“This is genius though.” Jon remarked.
“As the Netch died and you took a branch from its guts, you two were submerged in slime and decided to swim in the nearest pond. It was a good opportunity for me to steal your clothes.” Jullanar said.
“I see, so that’s why we are at this state. Thank you.” Jon seemed upset about it.
“It is not over yet, as our two adult gentlemen finished playing in the water and drank another keg of mead. You two were enough that we had to put a stop to it. Still, Bjorna came up with the best prank ever.” Alina said.
“… I have a bad feeling about this!” Wulfur said.
“She tied your hands to your backs and convinced you to catch your noses.” Jull said.
The girls looked at each other and started laughing hysterically when they remembered what happened.
Jon and Wulfur felt like they got wronged but there were more to come.
“Wulfur decided that if he ran into a tree, he would corner his nose. He ran into every tree around the forest like a boar, some of them couldn’t even endure his charge at them.”
“Pffft!” Jon couldn’t hold it and laughed so hard.
Wulfur was upset and didn’t look at him.
“Don’t laugh, at least he had a good idea for catching his nose. You were a mess.”
“You started spinning around on the ground screaming ‘It’s getting away, it’s getting away’.”
“Bwahahaha! That’s so fun.” It was Wulfur’s turn to laugh back at Jon.
Jon didn’t know where to hide his face but it was already too late, the scandal was out and to his closest people at that.
“Fine, we had enough fun for a day, get up you two, we made a camp nearby, let’s fix your hangover.”
The girls helped the boys up and headed to the camp they set up, Bjorna was riding on her bear and it scared are the other wild animals away so it was relatively safe to camp here.
Jon drank some hangover remedy and went into a clean set of clothes. He then took out an Enchanting Table from his ring and started putting components of the staff together.”
The Eye of Ciirta, the Branch of the Tree of Shades, a few Soul Gems and the Note that from the Message of Sheogorath. Once all were put together, Jon invoked his Magicka into the Enchanting Table and all of sudden, a blinding green fire ate all the components on the table.
“Woah!” Jon was taken aback but noticed the changes going on and the fire died out right away.
There was now only a staff, the Staff of Sheogorath.